Wondering my consciousness.

The emptiness that resides within my thoughts is nothing more than just a small  flicker of an imagination in which i myself reside in. Sometimes the gap gets smaller as social networks closes the gaping hole in which nothingness resides. Without the usual psychological terms, it'll be a lot harder to actually describe it.... Or so as i thought.
To plainly describe,
Emptiness within my thoughts are normally something in which there's absolutely empty space which is filled by nothing but void. This so called "Void" in which nothing can fill can only be temporarily closed with thoughts that are deemed to be sinful. Thoughts in which not many people dare to imagine, let alone think of.
Thoughts of violating the norms of society, to be deviant, imaginative, changing what people think. Forever tainting their thoughts with nothing but pure darkness in which the void could be spread. Forever spreading across different individuals in which nothing can be done to curb this disease.
But recently, a sparkle of desire actually widened the gap in which nothingness exist. The desire to obtain something in which i doubt could be grasped with my own Mortal hands. My hands which is tainted by this darkness. If i were to be able to hold this shining thing in which is full of pureness. I'd definitely spoil it without second thought. In which it'll also be as corrupted as i am. The more pure an object is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt the object. Object in which is Living, Pure, Unsoiled, Peculiar, Unique?